Balderdash and utter nonsense

Okay, I'm revoking everything I said in that last post about not blogging this.

I'm getting out of my shyness mode (thank god that's on the way out), incidentally, here at GSU, and being out/getting out of the pathological shyness phenomenon makes me feel much more like myself. Sure, I still get quiet and spacey when I'm thinking about something, but I feel much more ME--and it feels damn good.

Also, I think I'm about ready to start dating again. I'm a little hesitant, and a little unsure, but still.

So, now that I've told you that, let me tell you that this man I'm attracted to intrigues the hell out of me. He's very smart, and he seems to like a number of things which I also like. I am rather unclear on what he thinks of me--I haven't "dated" in quite some time, and I never really "dated" all that well to begin with (I'm a little blunt, sometimes. Oh, that's right, and there's all my ridiculous stories, too.). There may be a possibility that I make him nervous--which is fair enough, really, since he has made me rather nervous myself on occassion.

So I'm not really sure what he thinks of me (if he thinks of me). And since I am at least a slighly more savvy dater than I once was, I try to get a read on someone I'm interested in. (As opposed to when I was younger, and had a tendency to just make my interest apparent, sometimes too bluntly, which had a tendency to startle and disconcert people.)

But I can't really get a read on this, partly because I'm just out of practice. And partly because my recent pathological shyness has prevented me (mostly) from saying or doing anything that could get a readable response.

Men tell me that I'm very intimidating. I'm not entirely sure why this is, but if I think about it really hard, I can kinda see it--because I CAN be rather stand-off-ish at times--which I'm not meaning to do, I'm probably just thinking about something, or chasing some sort of collection of thoughts down before they butterfly off.

What I'm getting at, in my convoluted way, is that now that I'm not so much busy with the shy, and not so much on the hesitation and not being ready for this, I think I'm gonna say something. I'm very curious, and interested in learning more about this man, and really, whether or not he's interested in me or curious about me is only partially the issue. Don't get me wrong, I would certainly LIKE him to be interested in me, but I think we'd also have a great deal of fun just hanging out and drinking beers.

So yeah. That's pretty much the scoop. Stay tuned for the "and he's not interested at all" post, which will be full of sardonic wit and self-deprecating humour.